Scanning my Facebook newsfeed recently, I was struck by two posts of very different character. One post contained a veiled criticism or insult wrapped up in anonymity. Readers often “like” these posts without realizing that they are usually targeted at particular person. They also may not realize that they have entered into a private dispute of some kind, and they have become complicit in the originator’s intention to send a pointed message. The originator feels empowered and righteous because others have “liked” the post. The targeted person, on the other hand, pretty much knows they are the target and sees that other people agree, which compounds the slap.
Posts like this underscore the poison of anger and contempt. They serve to isolate the targeted person and drive a knife into their heart. They also show the originator has chosen to indulge their anger and contempt and to use their social media presence to strike out in an effort to embarrass or hurt another person. Remember, once posted, the damage is done and cannot be taken back. It also can have a ripple effect, with unintended bad consequences.
What if the originator had chosen to put aside their anger and sought to resolve their issue quietly, directly and not in front of their Facebook friends? An act of emotional violence could have become an act of respect, of forgiveness and love. The result could have been a friendship redeemed rather than a friendship damaged or destroyed.
Which brings me to the other post that stood out for me. This post encouraged all of us to THINK before we speak, post, like or comment: T – is it true? H – is it helpful? I – is it inspiring? N – is it necessary? K – is it kind? What a great message! I encourage all of us to THINK before we speak, post, like or comment. Sharing a little love is a lot more fun than sharing anger and contempt, and it might just make someone’s day or help someone who is grieving smile. Now, that is a worthy endeavor!
The Grief Recovery Method® provides a safe, confidential opportunity to gain a better understanding of grief and the myths and misinformation our society perpetuates about grief and the grieving process. This method teaches specific action steps you can take to say goodbye to the pain and heartache caused by loss. It is an effective way to complete unfinished business, such as coming to terms with the things you wish you would have said or done differently, better or more. It also helps you to let go of negative feelings such as anger and contempt. By doing so, you will be able to move on and be happy once again. The Grief Recovery Method® is not therapy, but an educational program. It is available in an eight-week grief support group or a seven-week one-on-one format.
Please call me at (404) 771-9335. I can help.
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