More often than not when I read my Facebook newsfeed I come across posts lamenting the loss of beloved family member, friend or pet. One in particular touched me this morning. It was a photo post with a quote, “Grief is like living two lives. One is when you pretend everything is all right, and the other is where your heart silently screams in pain.”
I know this pain and the living of two lives. For me, it is a physically and emotionally exhausting place to be. It diminishes me and my ability to live a full and useful life. What if we let go of the belief that we have to put on a happy face and be strong for others? What if our hearts could heal and we no longer have to live two lives defined by grief? It is possible!
Another common message grievers hear is that time will heal their pain. Judging by what I read on Facebook, my own experience and the experience of the founders of The Grief Recovery Method®, this is not true. Time itself does not heal; it is what you do with your time that leads to healing.
To illustrate this point, consider this marvelous exchange between Frodo and Gandalf in J.R.R. Tokein’s The Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring: “’I wish it need not have happened in my time,’ said Frodo. ‘So do I,’ said Gandalf, ‘and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.’”
What if you decided to use your time to heal your heart now rather than allowing your heart to silently scream any longer? But, you may believe, if I allow my heart to heal, I will be letting my loved one down. To honor their memory means I must not let my heart mend. What if this is not true? You will never forget those you love. What if by allowing your heart to heal means you could still honor your loved one and live your life no longer bound by the pain and isolation of grief? What if you adopted a new belief that it is okay to be happy again and feel connected with the world? It is possible!
A key part of healing a broken heart is deciding you want to heal and taking action to do so. The Grief Recovery Method®, Grief Recovery Support Groups or the Grief Recovery One-on-One Programs offers grievers the opportunity to be heard in a safe, confidential, accepting environment and to learn a new way to deal with grief - action steps that work to complete your grief and heal your heart. There is also a special program for those grieving the loss of a beloved pet(s). Remember, it is never too soon to begin your recovery. Please call me. I can help.
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